With all the famous cheaters in the headlines these days - SC Governor Mark Sanford, former Senator John Edwards, and Tiger Woods, to name a few - it's hard not to hear the news and wonder: Could it happen to me? Would I know if the most important person in my life was leading a double one? Or, if it has happened, to ask: Why? Was it my fault? Am I not as attractive as I used to be?
Cheating erodes everything we think we know about our relationship and our partner, and trying to rebuild the trust cheating obliterates can seem like an insurmountable hurdle. So, we've put together the latest science on why men cheat (you'll be surprised), 3 surefire tips to spot a two-timer, and advice on how to begin repairing the damage.
Born to Cheat?
More than 50% of men in relationships cheat, and some experts believe monogamy may not be part of a man's nature. They argue that, for thousands of years males, were driven to seek out multiple partners in order to have as many children as possible and continue their genetic legacy. Afterall, they say, 95% of the animal kingdom is not monogamous, so how can it be part of the natural order of things?
New research may support this theory. Scientists in Sweden recently discovered that about 40% of men have 1 or 2 copies of a specific gene that makes them twice as likely to have a troubled marriage as men without it. The gene in question affects the way men produce an attachment hormone called vasopressin. Released by the same section of the brain that puts out oxytocin (the breastfeeding and bonding hormone), vasopressin is important in kidney function and blood pressure, but may also play a role in bonding 2 people together.
Still other studies have shown that high testosterone levels, which decline after getting married and surge as divorce approaches, have been linked to cheating.