Getting Your Orgasm Back After Age 40

If you've lost it, never had it, or simply want a better one, read on. We've got the tricks to help you flip from faking it to feeling it.

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Weak Pelvic Muscles

The pelvic floor is a web of muscles that holds up all of our reproductive organs. As we age, gain weight, or have babies, these muscles stretch out. That laxity makes it harder to carry out and experience the intense muscular contractions and release of tension that is paramount to achieving orgasm.

The Sex Rx

Strengthen your pelvic floor by contracting your Kegel muscles daily. Kegel muscles are the ones you use to stop your urine mid-stream. Don't exercise while urinating, but during any other time of the day (when you're sitting at traffic lights, on the phone, or at your desk) squeeze them and hold for a beat or do fast fluttering contractions. Shoot for 100 a day. Exercises that strengthen your transverse abdominals, the deep abdominal muscles that support your torso, will also help tighten your pelvic floor. There are even special exercise devices that resemble a vibrator and are designed to help you do Kegels correctly.

Is Surgery Safe?

There's been a lot of buzz in the past few years about vaginal rejuvenation surgery. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has not endorsed it as a procedure that has been clinically and scientifically shown to have any real positive impact on a woman's sex life. There are, however, women who say that is has helped them personally. Women considering the procedure should speak to a gynecologist with a lot of experience performing it, because there are crucial nerves and blood vessels in the vagina that are central to sexual. Most experts say you should seriously consider why you feel the need to take such a radical step and shouldn't do it only to please a partner.

Don't Obsess Over the G Spot

A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine sparked controversy when it claimed that the holy grail of women's sexual experience - the G-spot - may not exist. Experts who have faith in the spot say it lies in the same place that a man has a prostate gland (very near the urethra), so you will know you have found it if you feel the urge to urinate when it is stimulated. See Dr. Oz' detailed explanation of how to find your G-spot.

But, whether or not experts believe the G-spot exists, they all agree you shouldn't get hung up on finding it. If the search is fun, by all means keep exploring (and some recommend beginning on your own before asking your partner to join in the hunt). But if it's taking away from your pleasure, skip it. Clitoral orgasms are easier to achieve for most women.