"He cheated with me. I mean on me," are the words that clumsily slipped from my lips during my dream-come-true fifteen-minute interview on the Dr. Oz Show. The good doctor even called me on it! My incorrect choice of words fired off a glaring flare that screamed to Dr. Oz, "There's more to this story here." During my sixteen-year career at the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF), I trained cops, lawyers, and judges within ATF, FBI, CIA, DIA, and state and local law enforcement how to recognize both verbal and nonverbal flares and probe deeper to get to the truth.
What happened with my slip-up? While I was discussing my story about how Bill, a former boyfriend I lived with for a while in DC, cheated on me, my brain went rogue and images of my disappointed Irish Catholic parents flashed in front of my eyes. Until this very moment, they did not know that I was living with Bill when I moved to DC (and they were not big Bill fans). The internal dialogue I was having did not allow me to focus on my external dialogue, resulting in my verbal misstep. With over 3.5 million viewers, I wanted to stop the cameras and start over, but just like being unfaithful to your spouse, once you make the mistake it's there forever. It becomes part of your legacy.
A study conducted in 2002 by Atwood and Schwartz showed that 45-55 percent of married women and 50-60 percent of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationship. Are you able to spot, like Dr. Oz did, the clues that indicate there's more to the story? More importantly, do you have the confidence to confront the evidence that's right in front of you? If you're mentally prepared to ferret out the truth about your man's love life, continue reading. However, if you want to remain in the dark, stop now - because I'm sorry to say, if you find there was in fact a problematic truth to uncover, his cheating habit now becomes your problem.