Feeling Angry at Food

I've read stories of people who have lost weight and feel a sense of betrayal from food. They are angry and dissatisfied with food. They direct their frustration towards food and seem angry with the fact that they can't eat whatever they want to eat. This is not how I feel about food.

Posted on | Diane Carbonell | Comments ()

I've read stories of people who have lost weight and feel a sense of betrayal from food. They are angry and dissatisfied with food. They direct their  frustration towards food and seem angry with the fact that they can't eat whatever they want to eat. This is not how I feel about food.

I'm not mad at food. When I was obese, I loved to eat, cook, and overindulge in all kinds of food. Now that I'm a healthy weight, I still love to eat and cook, but I don't love to overindulge. However, the fact that I can't overindulge doesn't make me mad. I'm not frustrated with the fact that I can't eat anything I want, that I have to plan my meals, or that I'm not a naturally thin person. Sometimes, when reading other people's stories, I see an I'm-mad-at-food message. This makes me wonder if that person has actually worked through their life-long issues with food and will be able to maintain their weight loss over time.

Just as I had to come to terms with my own responsibility for my weight, I had to learn to redefine my relationship with food. What did that new relationship look like? Did I want to completely "break-up” with food? No. I still wanted to enjoy food and cooking, but I wanted to break-up my dependency on food for emotional happiness.

This was a process for me. After I had lost about 50 pounds and was feeling more in control of my choices, I started thinking a lot about chocolate, cakes, and cookies. I had allowed myself to have those foods, in very small quantities, while I was losing the first 50 pounds, but I hadn't overindulged. Boy, I wanted some big chocolate, not just a little square, but BIG! I got mad at the chocolate. Why couldn't I eat it without blowing up like a balloon? Then, I'd stop the anger message, and say to myself, "Diane, you can eat it. You just can't eat the whole bag of chocolate."

Over and over I'd find myself getting frustrated with my perceived lack of choice, and just as frequently, I'd talk myself through the reality. I did have a choice. I could eat a treat. I could enjoy food.

Honestly, this process worked itself out by the time I had lost 100 pounds. At that point, I remember feeling very free. I felt as if I had a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I realized I still loved food of all kinds, and I wasn't mad at food anymore. Food didn't make me fat, but my own choices made me that way. Food was good. Choice was good. I had both.

I'd encourage you as you are walking your own road, to take time and work through your feelings towards food. In my opinion, it is very important to still have an appreciation for food, even after you reach your goal weight. If you don't, and you continue being angry with food, you may have a harder time maintaining your weight loss. 

Blog written by Diane Carbonell
Diane Carbonell lost 158 pounds and has maintained the loss for over 12 years. During those years of maintenance, she gave birth...