Body Language of Love

Ladies, today is THE day. February 14 has the power to make us or break us. By bedtime tonight, we’ll either feel loved and adored, or be ready to drown our sorrows in a tremendous vat of Ben & Jerry’s.

Posted on | Janine Driver | Comments ()

Ladies, today is THE day. February 14 has the power to make us or break us. By bedtime tonight, we’ll either feel loved and adored, or be ready to drown our sorrows in a tremendous vat of Ben & Jerry’s.  

Listen, before you make a beeline for the Chunky Monkey, let me share a secret with you … 

Achieving greatness in the land of the single people isn’t just for the beautiful people. Sure, those that are genetically blessed with flawless skin, a size 4 figure and long, flowing locks probably are not throwing a pity party this Valentine’s.  

And you shouldn’t be either! 

Don’t squander this opportunity … step away from the frozen food section, put down the spoon and get out there! Tonight is the night all the single guys will hit the town – think about it – all those spoken for will be mainlining breadsticks at The Olive Garden. The sports bar on the corner? Fraught with available men! Think of what you might be missing if you don’t step out!  

I know you are probably fearful of rejection … who among us isn’t? It’s something we have all experienced. It starts at the sixth grade dance and continues unmercifully through the years until we either give up or get married. Whether during an initial encounter or after a lengthy courtship, rejection at all stages isn’t exactly pleasant. 

In fact, romantic rejection has been shown to affect brain activity in similar fashion to drug addiction or pain. Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University, studied the brain activity of individuals rejected by a romantic partner, using magnetic resonance imaging. These scans showed activity in the same regions of the brain that were associated with “intense cravings, similar to cocaine addition and physical pain, and the distress that goes along with it.”  

So before you head out to put yourself out there, let’s take a moment to spruce up your game! Just a few simple changes can significantly reduce the likelihood of rejection. A few easy to master body language tricks can instantly boost your confidence. Appear engaging and enthusiastic, and LAND YOUR MAN! 

It is imperative that you pay close attention to your head, shoulders, knees and toes!  

    Yes woman. Nodding your head during a conversation will increase the likelihood that you will be perceived as empathetic and accessible – as well as helping you develop better rapport with your conversational partner – the first step to creating a meaningful interaction. Short, subtle nods during appropriate moments in the convo are best. Just don’t overdo it … no need to agree with everything that comes out of his mouth.  

    Open up the shoulders. If you and a girlfriend are seated at the bar, make sure that your bodies aren’t angled in toward each other ~ this indicates a private conversation, no intruders welcome! Instead, open up the center of your body and angle your belly button away from the bar and toward the center of the room. This simple change will let the fellas know that you are open for conversation (and maybe a drink)!

    Spread ‘em! The knees that is. Position your lower body so that your stance is wide and confident. Throw a hand on one hip or hook your thumb in your jeans pocket to show some sass and personality. Like your momma always said, stand up straight for heaven’s sake … and with your head up, making eye contact when necessary. Look like you are having a ball (even if you’d rather be at home watching Letterman). You’ll be amazed at how a simple change in posture not only makes you feel less fearful and more confident, but helps attracts the boys like bees to honey. If there is one thing men love on a woman, it's confidence in herself! 

    Power to the people! Keep those power zones open ladies! I’m referring to your neck dimple (that sweet little spot where a necklace falls), your belly button, and what I lovingly refer to as your “naughty bits.” This means no turtlenecks, no hands clasped demurely in front of your naval, and for heaven’s sake, don’t cover up the bits with a pocketbook, your drink or your hands! Keeping your power zones open shows your sincerity and your willingness to welcome others into your orbit – namely, that hottie you’ve been eyeing across the bar!  

Trying to decide if that tall, dark and handsome Mr. Big look-a-like is into you or not? Decode how he holds his Bud and uncover his true feelings!  

    Loosely by the neck? He’s feeling confident and relaxed; most defiantly in control of the scene. Mirror his body language and attitude for a bit; he’s a guy who will love to see these same confident mannerisms reflected back to him! 

    Close to his chest? That beer is a barrier. He is probably feeling a little less than confident, and is defiantly a bit guarded. Keep the conversation light – now is not the time to ask for his life plan or if he wants kids.  

    Did he move the drink toward you? Sweeeet! This is a great indication that he’s feeling close to you! He’s probably feeling an urge to connect and bond (wink, wink). 

    Playing with the label? He’s nervous around you, and possibly worried that you just aren’t in to him. Flash him a smile and lightly touch his arm if you want to let him know he has a chance! 

Getting a guy to sit up and take notice is easier than you may think! Increase your own self-awareness, and make the most of your ladies night by improving your own behavior to increase your desirability to the opposite sex. Additionally, learning to understand his communication signals will take you along way.

Whether you are looking for Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now), there are plenty of ways to land him tonight! Make this Valentine’s Day a one to remember!

Blog written by Janine Driver
Janine Driver is the New York Times best-selling authorof YOU SAY MORE THAN YOU THINK: A 7-Day Plan on Using the New Body...