Spice Up Your Sex Life

Understand the problem. Many issues can interfere with a satisfying sex life. To identify what’s coming between you and your partner, take the following entrance exam. Each of you should read the 6 statements below and answer independently.

• My partner makes me feel loved.
• I know what I want and what feels good, and I tell my partner.
• My partner and I have a lot of variety and spontaneity in our sex life.
• I’m confident my body can handle the physical demands of sex.
• My partner and I are rarely too busy or too tired for sex.
• I’m comfortable with my body and never hide it under the sheets.

If either of you answered “no” to any of the above, you’ve taken the first step in identifying the problem. Over the next several days, this plan will help you make small adjustments to address each potential problem area.

Get back the romance. You can’t improve your sex life if you don’t start with your romantic life.

Say the magic words. Starting today, you won’t let a single day pass without telling your partner you love ‘em.

Step #1: The long goodbye. Each morning, lock lips for at least fifteen seconds before either person leaves the house.

Step #2: Get out of the house. At least one night each week should be date night. Spend it at a restaurant, the movies, or wherever – just don’t spend it at home, and don’t let anyone else come along.

Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”

Do Step #1: If you forgot what it is, go back and start Day #2 again.

Step #3: Mark your calendars. Schedule 2 hours, at least 3 times per week, for sex. We went ahead and planned the first 2 weeks for you. It seems counterintuitive that planning sex could make it more exciting, but anticipating these sessions will generate arousal and excitement throughout the day. A schedule will also reduce the common excuses of being too busy or tired for sex.

Your initial sessions. Plan them for days 7, 9, and 12. And yes -- you’re going to wait until day 7 for the first encounter. You need some time to work on basic issues. In addition, waiting will make the anticipation so high that by the end of the week you’ll be ready to jump on each other in a closet, in a backseat, or on a washing machine.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you” at the same time.

Step #4: Start to get in shape. Exercise lowers stress, boosts sexual function, and improves endurance. If you don’t want to join a gym, find a spacious room in your house and do stretches, jumping jacks, push-ups, and sit-ups. Exercise at least 30 minutes per day –– no excuses! And don’t forget to make the right food choices – see Dr. Oz’s 99-Second Healthy Eating Plan

Step #5: Tune-up the equipment. It’s impossible to have satisfying sex if you’re working against your own limitations. Make sure your naughty and nice bits are in perfect working order before you put them in action.

Vaginal dryness has many causes – including age, stress, some birth control pills, and menopause – and it’s a major obstacle to enjoyable intercourse. Fortunately, the lubricants available at drugstores can provide instant relief. You might also try drinking more water, eating foods high in phytoestrogens (like flax seed oil, soy, and tofu), and if you are starting menopause, talk to your doctor about taking 2 aspirins a day and estradiol and micronized progestin – estrogen increases the tendency to clot, but that tendency is reduced below baseline by aspirin in the typical woman.

Vaginal pain, especially during sex, is also quite common. A gynecologist can help identify and eliminate the underlying cause.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you” at the same time.

Step #4: Start to get in shape. Exercise lowers stress, boosts sexual function, and improves endurance. Overweight males can who lost 35 pounds can even add an inch to your penis! If you don’t want to join a gym, find a spacious room in your house and do stretches, jumping jacks, push-ups, and sit-ups. Exercise at least 30 minutes per day –– no excuses! And don’t forget to make the right food choices – see Dr. Oz’s 99-Second Healthy Eating Plan

Step #5: Tune-up the equipment. It’s impossible to have satisfying sex if you’re working against your own limitations. Make sure your naughty and nice bits are in perfect working order before you put them in action.

Half of men over 40 have erectile dysfunction. If you’re on the wrong side of that fence, it’s time to deal with the problem once and for all. A major cause of impotence is blocked arteries, and you can open yours back up using the same diet and exercise plans that benefit your heart. After all, your arteries supply blood flow. As make those arteries healthier, ask your doctor if he thinks you would benefit from medication as well – it generally takes 3 to 6 weeks for diet and physical activity to regenerate the nitric oxide synthesizing ability of your arteries.

Your doc may also check your hormone levels, since up to 20% of erectile dysfunction cases are related to testosterone deficiency. One clue that your hormone levels are low is if you don’t have to shave your beard every day.

Many guys with a big belly will have low libido because belly fat converts testosterone to estrogen. In effect your fat is turning you into a woman. Ugh. Lose the belly fat, gain the potency back. The great news is that the cells lining your arteries anticipate success, and that nitric oxide comes back fast as long as the belly fat loss is progressive.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, "I love you."

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and to avoid saturated fats and simple sugars, syrups and non-100% whole grains!

Step #6: Find the hot spots. Print out two copies of this body diagram and share one with your partner. Each of you should circle the 4 areas on your own bodies where a touch or kiss really gets you going. Maybe your partner likes being kissed on the ear, while you like having your lower back caressed. You have to tell each other to know! Exchange sheets and memorize your partner’s 4 hot spots.

Step #7: Strip while no one’s looking. Many people dislike their own bodies and become self-conscious or uncomfortable in bed. You’ll need to learn how to let go of those concerns. Walk into a room with a full-length mirror, close the door, and strip down to nothing but skin. Take a good look at yourself, note your imperfections, say hi to your dragonfly tattoo, and then stop fretting about the things you don’t like about your body. The appearance of confidence will add more than enough sexiness to compensate for any physical imperfections.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Step #8: Flirt from work. During the day you probably correspond with your partner about errands or other mundane plans. How about using that time to get each other in the mood? Send at least one email or text message to your partner describing something you love about them, or something they do that turns you on. Keep it up every day from now on. The phone may work better if you do not have personal email at work. The affectionate notes will become their own form of foreplay.

Remember Step #3. You know the calendar and what happens on Day #7.

Did you have your date yet? The first week is almost over! If you haven’t gone on your weekly date yet, plan one for tonight or tomorrow.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices with smaller portions!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Step #9: Get it on -– but don’t rush it. Spend at least 30 minutes in foreplay, paying special attention to your partner’s hot spots. From there, try at least 3 new positions, and be sure to include manual, oral, and genital stimulation. The more varied and interesting the encounter becomes, the more likely both partners will climax.

Men: if you can’t last as long as you’d like, try masturbating several hours before sex, or experiment with condoms that contain a tiny dose of anesthetic.

Step #10: Use your eyes. Make it a habit to look at your partner in the eye, especially at the moment of orgasm, so you can attain maximal intimacy.

Step #11: Use your mouth – not just for that. Throughout the entire encounter, give each other open and honest feedback about what’s working and what isn’t. Don’t get offended by the commentary – learn from it.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Step #12: Talk dirty. Back when you first met, just the sight of your partner was thrilling and nerve-wracking enough to get feel-good chemicals like dopamine flowing through your brain. Get those original feelings back by sharing exhilarating and risky experiences together. For example: go out to a public place, like a park or a café, and discuss your favorite aspects of your encounter from the night before. Talking about such intimate details while surrounded by strangers practically guarantees excitement and arousal.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Step #13: The nose knows. Smell has a fundamental role in sexual arousal. The most primitive kind of attraction depends on odorless chemicals called pheromones, which activate brain areas that control sexual interest. You can activate this system with the scents of lemon, licorice, cinnamon, and vanilla.

Step #14: Put it in your mouth. Certain foods add spice to the bedroom. Try stocking your kitchen with some of them:

• Asparagus – a rich source of vitamin E, which increases hormone levels
• Bananas – contain bromelain, which improves libido
• Garlic – a major source of allicin, which gets blood flowing to the genitals
• Oysters – packed with zinc, they improve sperm and testosterone production, as well as increase dopamine, which causes feelings of pleasure
• Dark chocolate – delivers a blast of flavonoids, which improve blood flow to the genitals, as well as phenyethylamine, which causes feelings of love.

Honor Step #3, and have sex. Only one rule this time: You can’t do it in the bedroom! As before, pay special attention to your partner’s hot spots, look at each other in the eye, and offer feedback to make the experience even more satisfying.

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Step #15: Give each other a rubdown. Before bed tonight, pull off your partner’s socks, grease up your hands, and give him or her a long and deep foot rub. When you’re done, make sure your partner reciprocates the gesture. The area of the brain that senses touching of the feet is right next to the area that senses touching of the penis and clitoris. You’ll be amazed at how erotic, relaxing, and satisfying a good foot rub can be.

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Step #16: Fill the box. Grab 5 notecards and write a sexual fantasy on each. Ask your partner to do the same; the more details – and the wilder – the better. When you’re done, fold each card in half and put them all in a shoebox hidden under the bed. Whenever you need a boost of excitement between the sheets, pull out the box and draw a random card.

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Honor Step #2: Keep your date night. We’re now well into the second week. If you haven’t had your second date yet, plan it for tonight or tomorrow.

Step #17: Live the dream. Tell your partner to pull a card out of the fantasy box this afternoon. If necessary, spend some time getting the conditions right so the act can play out as envisioned. Then, when the time comes, put on the performance of a lifetime.

You and your partner should now take a slightly different test than you took on Day 1. Check the box next to each statement you agree with. Like on Day 1, each of you should read the 6 statements below and answer independently.

• I know what I want and what feels good, and I tell my partner.
• My partner and I have a lot of variety and spontaneity in our sex life.
• I frequently compliment my partner, and vice versa.
• My partner and I are rarely too busy or too tired for sex.
• I’m comfortable with my body and never hide it under the sheets.
• I’m confident my body can handle the physical demands of sex.

Review answers with your partner. If you’ve answered “yes” to one or more of these, congratulations! You’re on your way to a better, more satisfying sex life. Remember to say “I love you” as often as possible, exercise each day, shower each other with compliments, plan time for sex, and make sure both of you give and receive honest feedback.

If your test score didn’t improve over the past 2 weeks, your relationship may have more profound issues that require focused treatment. Seek advice from a marital or sexual health therapist, who can identify problem areas and give directed tips. Don’t give up hope: sexual problems are extremely common and sometimes very complicated, but nearly all can be resolved with enough time and effort.

Congratulations! You are a graduate of the Dr. Oz Spice Up Your Sex Life Program!

Keep it going by integrating what you’ve learned these last 2 weeks into your daily life.

Do Step #1: Don’t forget to say, “I love you.”

Do Step #4: Remember your 30 minutes of exercise and make smart food choices!

Do Step #8: Keep up the daily flirting!

Honor Step #2: Keep your date night each week.

Step #17: Open the fantasy box every now and then.