Cut the Food, Keep Your Social Life

Take a moment to think of one occasion, gathering, celebration or holiday that does not involve food in some fundamental way. Having trouble? I’m not surprised. We live in a food-centric society, a culture so obsessed with eating that we incorporate this behavior in almost every social activity imaginable. If you plan to associate with other people in practically any fashion, there will be a meal, drink or refreshment involved.

Take a moment to think of one occasion, gathering, celebration or holiday that does not involve food in some fundamental way. Having trouble? I’m not surprised. We live in a food-centric society, a culture so obsessed with eating that we incorporate this behavior in almost every social activity imaginable. If you plan to associate with other people in practically any fashion, there will be a meal, drink or refreshment involved.

But why? For one, food is a form of social currency. We offer others food to show them that we care. Food is a versatile gift that everyone can accept, understand and appreciate. When people are gathering, food welcomes and puts people at ease. As well, food is a great distraction and adds a bit of entertainment to any situation. Food at a gathering creates a positive atmosphere and ensures a group of happy campers. When you ask my 84-year-old grandmother how her friend’s party went, she bases her response on the food served (“It was wonderful – she had a beautiful nova platter!”).


While food will likely always remain on the invitee list, it behooves us – given the nation’s obesity epidemic – to think about ways that we can scale down the importance of food in our social world. Here are some ideas for food-free options in a variety of social situations:

Special Occasions

Birthday dinners, anniversary brunches, Fourth of July barbeques … there is always another occasion (and associated meal) just around the corner. Why is it that we often allow the food, rather than the reason for the gathering itself, to take the spotlight? These traditions often begin in childhood, so we need to start changing the paradigm there. Rather than asking your daughter where she’d like to eat for her birthday dinner, plan some activities that celebrate her talents, interests and strengths. Let her wear her favorite costume while you and she run errands; hang up her artwork all over the living room; give her first dibs on the front seat of the car all week. Make the occasion – your daughter and her wonderfulness – the star.

The Office

Power lunches at the finest restaurants, doughnuts around the conference table, after-work happy hours. Where there are long hours and think tanks, there will be food. However, some progressive companies are implementing the “walking meeting,” in which the leader projects his or her voice by megaphone while leading the employees in walking laps around the hallways or outside the building. Other companies have instituted no-food rules for birthday celebrations. Instead, employees can opt for a special privilege on their birthday (e.g., take the afternoon off, utilize a special parking space).  

A Funeral/Wake/Shiva

While those in mourning often appreciate visitors bringing a meal to ease the burden of cooking, the amount of food that accumulates at these gatherings can be overwhelming and unnecessary. Express your condolences in a more creative way. Rather than bringing yet another dish, offer your time. You might assist with funeral arrangements (ordering flowers for the ceremony, housing out-of-town guests, providing transportation for the family) or you could put together an album or collage of memories of the deceased as a gift to the family. These gestures will be more meaningful and enduring than yet another casserole.

Start putting some non-food gatherings onto your social calendar. Your friends, co-workers and waistline will thank you!

4 Steps to Shedding Your Pandemic Pounds

Forgive yourself, and start walking toward a healthier you.

For those of you who have put on the Pandemic Pounds or added several new COVID Curves, you are not alone. Alarmingly, the American Psychological Association has recently published that almost half of all adults in their survey now have a larger physique. In fact, 42% of people reported gaining roughly 15 pounds (the average published was surprisingly 29 pounds but that included outliers) over the past year. Interestingly, 20% of adults in this survey lost about 12 pounds (I am surely not in this group). Clearly, there is a relationship between stress and weight change. In addition, one in four adults disclosed an increase in alcohol consumption, and 67% of participants distressingly revealed that they have new sleeping patterns.

This past year has brought about what has been called the 'new normal.' Social isolation and inactivity due to quarantining and remote working have sadly contributed to the decline in many people's mental and physical health, as demonstrated by the widespread changes in people's weight, alcohol consumption, and sleeping patterns. Gym closures, frequent ordering of unhealthy takeout, and increased time at home cooking and devouring comfort foods have had a perceptible impact. In addition, many people have delayed routine medical care and screening tests over fear of contracting Covid-19 during these visits. Unfortunately, the 'new normal' has now placed too many people at risk for serious health consequences, including heart attacks and strokes.

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